A Man and His Garden

I mean my pond has a long way to go, but the rest of my garden is in fine shape! There is a serious significance to your garden. It says a lot about a man. Now, if you're all grass no plants, you are lazy and do not even deserve to have a garden. But, on the other hand, if you have so many plants, trees, water features and more so that you can barely realise there is actually any grass there... You are compensating for something. Buy a sports car instead.

I Can See Right Through You

You know what really annoys me... People talking about what shitting superpowers they would have. So and so might say 'I'd wanna have the ability to fly' or 'I think I would love to able to become invisible'. Well enjoy your dreaming idiot, because all I can tell ya is that the reality ain't quite what you think it to be.